1 — Foos Is Loose
The rough-and-tumble game of foosball gets classy with this cherry-finished Oxford table by Sportcraft. Its elite touches include carved wooden players, wooden balls, a faux grass table surface, and a storage compartment underneath. Best of all, the table is so swank that your opponent will never expect you to jab him in the nuts with its handles. $879, orvis.com

2 — Able Table
Show your pals you take Ping-Pong—er, table tennis—very seriously with this high-end table from Chicago-based Killerspin. A glare-resistant blue powder coat means no more claiming, “I lost it in the lights!” while its sturdy two-part, 410-pound construction eliminates volley-ending wobbles. So you’ll have no excuses for losing in pathetic 0-11 blowouts. $1,999, killerspin.com

3 — Ball Dropper
Pachinko games are as plentiful in Tokyo as slot machines are in Vegas. Simply drop tiny silver balls into the machine, and when they hit a target, you win…more balls! Yes, the Japanese are crazy—but the game can be way addicting. And you can’t get more au­thentic than this refurbished unit, which was once used in Tokyo’s Ginza district. Bonsai, playa. $330, hammacher.com

4 — Soft Target
Electronic dart machines are great—except for the beeping and blinking and the need to use frustratingly nonlethal plastic darts. That’s why we prefer an old-school classic like this bristle-board target housed in a hardwood cabinet. So crack open a beer and keep score the old-fashioned way: by cheating your ass off while using a chalkboard. $199, restorationhardware.com

5 — Bumper Crop
Unless you own a funeral home, you probably don’t have room in the basement for a dozen pinball machines. Cue UltraPin, a machine that ditches 3-D balls for the virtual sort, displaying 12 vintage Bally and Williams games on a 32-inch LCD monitor. Bumping and nudging the cabinet even alters the course of the ball. But not, sadly, the course of your life. $4,800, globalvr.com