30 Kinky BDSM Ideas to Try with your SO Tonight

You may have already heard of the four-letter term BDSM at any time in the past – but when it is actually uttered, thoughts of toys, positions, and rules may be quite overwhelming… scary even! To some, we don’t even know what the word implies. If you’re looking for BDSM ideas, you’ve come to the right place.

Bondage – A Brief Introduction

For starters, BDSM stands for Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism. All these are subs in the wide world of kinks. For a lot of people, BDSM is something new. It can be an opportunity to explore ideas of power and control. It can also be a chance for you to discover things you never knew could turn you on.

And while BDSM can be all of these elements, it can also sometimes just be bondage sex or any other element alone. No need to pressure yourself into getting into all these when your or your SO’s comfort level is just at bondage or some other element.

Also, BDSM may not necessarily mean penetration and is just a standalone exercise for sexual satisfaction.

Before anything else…

If there is one thing we would like to emphasize enough, it is that when going into BDSM, you should always take into your utmost consideration your and your SO’s safety. As such, we have rounded up a few things to include in your checklist before going into BDSM.

  • Just as important as safety is consent. Before going into BDSM, talk to your SO about it and see how it makes her feel.
  • BDSM involves some tying, binding, and gagging. If you are not confident of your rope-tying skills, go for the more user-friendly cuffs. That would be safer.
  • Speaking of knots, never suspend someone if you don’t know how to.
  • Take into consideration your SO’s comfort. While positions are comfortable, it can be exhausting over time. Never overdo as it can stress joints, tendons, and muscles.
  • A safeword is important. Set a safe word amongst yourselves. FYI, a safe word is a code word (or words) used by the submissive to let the dominant know of their physical or emotional state. This is mostly used when the physical/emotional boundary is crossed.
  • After-care is as important. This would include massages, cuddling, and hydration. Take this time to discuss with your SO how the experience made you both feel.
  • While we hope you won’t needit, be ready with a pair of scissors sharp enough to cut through whatever material you’re using
  • Finally, BDSM is a process. You can’t just expect to go hard-core on your first time. Take baby steps. Do not go into more intense positions when one or both parties are not yet ready.

And so update your kink list as we give you the best of everything BDSM – from role-playing, essentials, to positions – here are 30 of the hottest BDSM ideas you can get into tonight!

1. Teacher and Student

Teacher and student
Photo from Adobe Stock

This is perhaps one of the most popular fantasies in both men and women. The teacher and student scenario can come in two different ways. Both the “I failed my last exam and I will do anything to get a passing grade” + unzip pants scenario; or the “You are a bad student and needs to be punished” + unzip pants scenario are both hot options.

Both ways, the pants fall to the floor, and that’s what we’re all concerned about.

2. The Bad Maid

We know they’re supposed to be in the kitchen but the maid just made you so mad! Punish the maid and let her see who’s boss.

3. The Law Enforcer

This is one of the most popular BDSM ideas and is just perfect timing to use those handcuffs. Cuff her nice and good and start the interrogations for the bad things she’s done.

4. Hey Doc!

A comprehensive physical exam is being called for. Tell your patient you want her in excellent physical health and so… take that dress off and bend over.

Don’t forget to reprimand her for not following doctor’s orders!

5. Reprimanded by the boss

A secretary with bad work ethics can be made badder. Reprimand her in more ways than the memo for not submitting the reports on time.

Another of those BDSM ideas that while popular, works!

6. The bad little girl

One of the most popular BDSM games around is when daddy’s little girl got naughty today. She needs to be punished. Pigtails, lollipops, and a good amount of spanking never grow old.

7. Pizza delivery!

What does she mean she cannot pay for the pizza you delivered? Make your way in and let her know she can pay you in another way.

8. The master and the pet

Put your pet on a leash and make sure she doesn’t scratch the furniture. Or have her sit on your lap or tie her to a bedpost so she doesn’t wander around; or for extreme plays, have her get inside a cage when she misbehaves.

And here’s one more. Have her eat from a bowl on the floor.

9. Superhero

The villainess is captured. Tie her up and make sure to get her out of that tight-fitting costume to reveal her real identity. And make sure to castigate her for all the bad things she’s done.

10. A hot wrestling match

Wrestling is always the perfect prologue to hot, kinky encounters.

There is just something in this BDSM game that’s sizzling, what with you being pinned down by that hot, wrestler chick. And just when she thinks she’s winning, you overpower her and gain the upper hand. You stay on top amidst all that squirming.

11. Degradation/Humiliation

Any form of verbal degradation and humiliation can be extremely kinky if (let’s make that a big IF), you both take pleasure in this kind of play.

Note: always discuss and respect boundaries first.

12. Make it public

Exciting times ahead as you go out to dinner or a party with her not wearing anything behind that dress. You can also have her wear a sex toy, a vibrator perhaps. And right in the smack of the public eye, put on your naughtiest and press that button that connects to the vibrator. See how much your SO tries to stifle a groan, a moan, and everything hot.

A vibrator is just one of the many basic toys you can incorporate in your BDSM adventures. Read on to find out more about these essentials.

13. Ball Gags and Bit Gags

While we’ve discussed mostly BDSM ideas on role-playing, much of these require toys, restraints, and must-have essentials, one of which is the ball gag.

We’ve been taught not to talk when the mouth is full. The gag is not just merely teaching it; it is enforcing it. Gags are ideal for limiting your SO’s speech and breathing. Tie her up, gag her and you get a submissive that’s bowing down to your every wish.

It is also usual to find the sub drooling while wearing a gag and that adds a bit more humiliation for the SO wearing it. That’s good enough punishment as it is.

14. Blindfolds and Hoods

BDSM toys and must-haves are all about limiting one or more senses of the sub. As such, blindfolds and hoods are just some of the most popular BDSM essentials around.

Depriving one of your senses intensifies the other remaining sensory structures and so, in an attempt to even up, most would feel the intensity in their sense of smell or taste.

Going back to the blindfold, most that are sold have aesthetic considerations in mind but if you are good with just about anything, a scarf or a sleep mask would do just fine.

15. Collar

Usually made of leather, a collar can also double up as a leash when needed but aside from these uses, collars are worn by the sub that is in a relationship signifying ownership. Sort of like an “I am taken” signal. Or to make it simple, it is a wedding ring in the world of BDSM.

16. Spanking Tools

Floggers, riding crops, and paddles are very common examples of spanking tools. Each of these also has varying degrees of pain caused, starting with the floggers that causes just a little bit of pain to riding crops that are on the stingy part of the pain, to paddles that causes much of a thud than a sting.

Careful with the spanking tools as they can cause unwanted pain when incorrectly used but when the little girl is bad, daddy needs to spank!

17. Canes and Whips

Canes and rods are also spanking tools but cause much pain when incorrectly used so it is always wise to exercise caution while swinging and not get overly carried away with the spanking.

When canes and rods are causing that much pain, whips are on a different level. Get yourself practiced and your whip-expertise leveled up before using this on your SO.

18. Nipple clamps

Nipple clamps can be a bit tad overwhelming for any beginner. Aside from it coming in different types, it can also be used in varying forms. Some nipple clamps can be used for pleasure, some for breast torture, while others can be as a form of restraint.

The sensations your SO feels depend on the type of nipple clamp you get as much as on the sensitivity of the nipple. But whether it’s for pleasure or pain, nipple clamps can be used by almost everyone and with a variety of choices in the market, your possibilities for BDSM ideas are endless.

19. Cuffs

Cuffs
Photo from Pixabay

Playing the police officer in you, handcuffs can be so sizzling hot. A BDSM essential that is used to keep the arms together and contained, your handcuffed SO will not have any choice but to stay put and accept her destiny of hot, erotic sex!

20. Feather tickles

If you’re feeling a little bit hesitant about causing your SO some pain but would still want to add discipline to the play, feather ticklers may be your best bet.

Its use is quite simple. Just run the feather tickler along your SO’s privates, nipples, or other sensitive parts and see how she squirms from all the pleasure you’re causing. Blindfolding your SO can potentially amplify this BDSM game’s excitement. But that’s not all. Make sure to stop when she’s about to come… until she begs and learns.

21. Bondage Rope

Bondage ropes
Photo by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay

The main reason for using a bondage rope is to keep your SO tied to furniture such as a bed, a couch, or a bench. Your SO’s vulnerability is not just sexy but kinky as well. As dominant in this exercise, there is nothing that pleases you more than seeing your SO available, ready and accepting to your every whim.

Take caution, though, and as mentioned earlier, you need to have a certain amount of knowledge on the art of rope bondage. Don’t just tie her up without any form of practice!

22. Bondage Tape

For a mouth that just won’t stop, this is your best bet.

Bondage tapes are different from your usual duct tape.

Aside from the bratty lips, bondage tapes can also be used to keep in place thrashing arms or legs. One word of caution, though, is to make sure you do not impede the blood circulation. Not too tight there!

23. Spreader bars

Consisting of a bar and a cuff on each end, a spreader bar, as the name itself implies, keeps your SO’s arms or legs wide apart. It adds extra restraint, just allowing you to penetrate whatever needs to be penetrated with so much ease.

It could also be used to instill discipline on your sub.

24. Edging

Speaking of discipline, one of the milder BDSM ideas to acquaint your SO with BDSM discipline is on edging.

Edging, as the name itself implies, is when you try to bring your SO to orgasm and just when it’s about to burst, you stop. You see now where you’re bringing her with that? To the edge, hence, the term.

Edging is a good way to instill discipline in that it makes her see who has direct control over who. And the bonus part? It leads to one explosive orgasmic experience.

You never did expect disciplining your SO can be so hot, didn’t you?

25. Tickling

You see, when you get tickled, you would expect giggles and fun. When does it become punishment? Consider tickling your sub while she’s bound or cuffed, gagged even, and is in no way able to stop the tickling even with all the thrashing and squirming.

Of course, you have to see if your partner consents to the tickling but if she does, do not just assume you can tickle her all you want. Employ a safe word so you’d know when you’re about to cross boundaries.

26. Figging

Now, this here is a bit on the extreme side of things. Figging is one of those BDSM ideas that involves sticking something into your SO’s behind or even her privates – this time, freshly-cut ginger.

In case you’re scratching your head, the ginger serves as a warming agent, the warming sensation of which later turns into a burning sensation. And coupled with a little bit of light to moderate spanking, figging can become more than hot!

Rest assured, figging will, in no way, physically harm your partner.

27. Bondage Candles

Another of the extreme choices is with the employ of bondage candles.

Bondage sex becomes literally hotter with the use of bondage candles. Don’t worry, though. Because although it inflicts light to moderate pain, bondage candles don’t burn the skin.

Some extreme practices of BDSM involve dripping bondage candles into the vagina area!

28. Vagina Torture

The term also comes in many other forms. Vagina torture is taking it to the extremes by involving the application of pressure or pain to your SO’s vulva or vagina.

This includes activities like clamping, squeezing, or even employing a crotch rope to be used for your SO’s privates.

And as with all other BDSM ideas, there should be consent before getting into this. And while we may sound like a broken record, please remain safe.

Should you lack confidence in handling these positions, you may try a few more basic BDSM ideas like this next entry.

29. Chair Bondage

One of the basic positions in bondage sex, the chair bondage requires for your SO to be sitting on a chair or anything you can use as bondage furniture. You can have your SO sit tight, or repel the thrashing and flailing arms by tying her down.

While giving you limited access, this position plays for more oral sex or various other plays on your kink list. This, here, is a little bit friendlier… a bit milder, but hot nonetheless.

30. Armbinder Gag Bondage

Make your SO vulnerable with this bondage sex position. Tie the arms behind the neck and as the name itself suggests, make sure to gag her for a kinkier experience.

The position requires less flexibility from your SO but still gives you enough control and dominance over her.

The addition of the gag and the drool that comes with gagging is an exciting addition.

If there’s one thing to remind you of, it should be that you employ non-verbal safewords in case you’ve crossed the boundaries.


BDSM is an exciting and adventurous way of exploring yourself and your partner. But while it adds spice to your sex life and could perhaps cross out a few things on your kink list, much caution is advised when it comes to trying BDSM ideas.

It is with utmost care that you should approach the practice of BDSM, bondage sex, and everything that goes with it. Take baby steps. Learn from each experience. And most important of all, respect your SO and the boundaries that you’ve both set.

Only then will you be able to discover yourselves and bring your sex life to newer heights. And if you’re just starting out, we recommend you try these easy sex positions.

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