Every man out there knows that dating can be a minefield. There are a lot of things you can and can’t do, and even the tiniest mishap can screw up a date. Plus, with the advent of online dating, there are more things you have to consider now. As such, it can help to have some dating advice for men to fall back on when things become too confusing or complicated. Relationships and socialization are already complicated by nature, more so if you want to be intimate with someone who you think is special.
But don’t fret. This guide gives out dating advice for men out there who want to be more prepared. Here is a guide concocted from scientific facts, expert advice, and common decency. So read on, gents!
Dating Advice For Men: What Do Women Want?
First things first, we start at the most basic. If you’re looking to date a good woman, then it will help to know what women might generally want in relationships. Contrary to popular belief, ladies aren’t that complicated. You don’t need to know any ancient secret to figure out what makes them tick. They’re human after all, and likely want the same thing you do.
So here are some qualities women want in men, according to real women.
A woman tells Elite Daily writer Candice Jalili that compatibility is key. She notes the copious amount of “base chemistry” she shares with her partner. They can talk for hours upon hours without getting tired. On top of their sexual desires, even the couple’s eating habits are compatible.
What this means is that a woman wants to be with someone she can jive with. And not only that, she wants a man who she can get along with without feeling forced to do so. Natural chemistry is one foundation by which amazing unions are built upon. Find a woman that you can get along with without much effort, and you’ll be on the right track.
Another foundation to build on, trustworthiness is an absolute requirement for anyone looking to build a healthy relationship. Romance scams and cyberstalking have increased recently, so you should not only consider how to distinguish and protect yourself from scams but also know how you can be identified as trustworthy.
Be trustworthy by being a man of your word, so make sure to come through with your promises and vows. Give your girl reasons to trust you, but don’t come in expecting her to hand over her trust right away. You need to work for that.
Ultimately, trust is a responsibility. If you can’t keep up with the weight of such a responsibility, then perhaps you need to reevaluate and ask yourself if you’re truly ready for a serious relationship or not.
The University of Gottingen in Germany ran a survey of 64,000 women last year. They asked these ladies what they want in a man, and one quality stood out from the rest: kindness.
About 90 percent of all the women in the survey rank kindness as their most desirable trait. Supportiveness follows as a close second at 86.5 percent. Other qualities include intelligence, education, and confidence.
Why women look for kindness in a man is self-explanatory. It’s common decency to be kind, gents. You can’t expect anyone to like you — let alone date you — if you’re unkind and disrespectful. Women want a man who cares and empathizes, but it’s also important to remain kind regardless of who you’re with. You should not only care for your significant other, but for their friends, family, and everyone else in your lives as well.
Whether you’re looking for a date or otherwise, a little kindness can go a long way. Kindness should come from a genuine place of respect and concern, not out of the intention to get someone to like you.
Dating Advice For Men From Women
Believe it or not, women do want to help men with their dating game. But the problem is that some, if not all, guys aren’t seeing the full picture. Speaking to The Date Mix, here’s what several anonymous women advise men about dating.
Be who you are, not the person you think she wants you to be. Many guys think that women always have this idea of the ‘perfect man.’ However, this isn’t necessarily the case for most women at all. Forego the notion of being her ‘dream guy’ and instead charm her by being yourself. You want her to fall in love not with the idea of you, but with who you truly are as a person.
First Impressions DO Matter
If you’re going to show your true self, you also have to put your best foot forward. After all, first impressions do last. Impress her with something that doesn’t deviate from who you are. If you pique her interest early, you already have one foot in the door.
Talk About Your Hobbies
What do you like doing? What are you passionate about? What are the things that keep you occupied when you’re not at work? Or better yet, is your job an exciting one? Talk about everything that defines your life and what you want to get out of it. Women want to listen. Talking about your hobbies and interests will be a great way for them to get to know you better on a more substantial level, so don’t be shy about sharing a bit about yourself.
If there’s one thing women don’t like about dating, it’s the tendency for things to go too fast sometimes. Giving out too much early on — whether it be oversharing the most minute details about yourself or setting expectations right away — can overwhelm her before anything even starts. Take it easy and don’t rush things. Learn how to adjust your pace and respect her decision to take things slow if that’s what she’s looking for.
Don’t Be Overbearing
Being possessive is an early red flag. First of all, you don’t own her. Second, it’s not her responsibility to tell you where she’s going or what she’s doing. Let her do the things that she’s passionate about without you breathing down her neck. The last thing she wants is someone controlling every aspect of her life, more so if it’s still early in the dating phase. Just because you’re dating doesn’t mean you’re entitled to her time and attention 24/7.
For The Younger Man: Dating Advice For Men In Their 20s
Though being in your 20s can be the most fun time for dating, it can also be the toughest. You’re approaching the peak of your physical virility, you’re full of energy, and many exciting things await you. In contrast, dating at this age is also full of uncertainty. Navigating the dating scene at this age can be extra confusing, so here are some tips that can help ease your way into dating.
“Chemistry” Is Bogus
You’re a young man in your 20s looking to date a girl that you have good chemistry with. That’s a worthy goal. But the truth is, serious relationships don’t work that way. They all take time, effort, and patience. Although chemistry can be a good gauge of compatibility for first dates, they’re not the end all be all of determining whether someone is a good fit for you or not. In the long run, healthy relationships are more than just sharing chemistry with someone, and even if you don’t feel that immediate spark, things can still work out if you put the time and effort into developing a relationship.
Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last In Real Life
Remember the survey of 64,000 women earlier? They said that kindness is the most attractive quality a man can have. And remember too that in the top five, physical attractiveness is nowhere in the picture. As such, it will help to remind yourself that physical attributes hold only a small portion of a person’s attractiveness.
If you’re looking for something more long-term, then make your responsible side more apparent. Physical attractiveness can only take you so far in a relationship if you want a more serious relationship. Revel in your smarts and success. Be kind without the expectation of getting something in return. Your looks won’t do you any good if you don’t have the gentlemanly manners to go with them.
Define The Relationship Before Having Sex
Science plays a massive role when it comes to sex in relationships. Sex releases a hormone called oxytocin, which can make women act all lovey-dovey and sweet. Also known as the ‘cuddle hormone,’ the downside to oxytocin release is that it can make women grow attached to their partner, regardless of how they’re being treated outside the bedroom.
With that said, it will be important that you give your relationship time to develop before getting too physical. Show your lady your affectionate side and make it apparent that you’re in it for the long haul. Be a well-rounded person and partner, and establish your reasonable expectations with one another before taking things to the next level. By the time you two become intimate, you can be assured that your girl’s choice to be with you long-term is on her own grounds and not just a physiological response post-sex.
For The More Established: Dating Advice For Men In Their 30s
So you’re now past your adventurous, energetic years. You’re in your 30s, and it’s highly likely that you’re way more serious about dating now. At this age bracket, there’s almost little to no time to play around. That may sound daunting, but it can also take out a lot of the guesswork that comes with dating in your younger years. Here are a few tips that can help make dating in your 30s clearer but still enjoyable despite being in an older age range now.
Know What You Want. You’re 30!
If you’re in your 30s, you should already have a clear picture of what you want in your head. What do you really want to achieve in your career? Do you want to buy this house without needing a mortgage? These types of questions also apply in dating, as your plans in life can help determine what sort of person you’re looking for. Don’t think of this as a limitation to who you can date. Instead, consider your personal goals as a guide that can help you narrow down the search for a person who is right for you and where you’re at in life.
Mature, Don’t Just Grow
Sure, you’re in your 30s, but that doesn’t automatically make you more confident, stable, or charming. Some guys can be just as immature in their 30s as they were in their 20s, or even younger. Age is just a number, but it doesn’t mean you can’t change with the years. Work on yourself. Exude power without flexing your achievements. Be calm and collected when everyone else panics. That’s maturity.
Be More Open And Forget About “Types”
Look past stereotypes and be more open-minded when it comes to dating, especially at this age. Whereas your 20s leave you a lot of room to experiment and figure out your tastes, your 30s are the best time to find someone who could be your life partner. We’re not saying that your options are more limited in your 30s, but if you’re looking for something more than just a casual hookup, then make yourself available to all different sorts of people. You might miss out on a special someone otherwise.
Going Golden: Dating Advice For Men 40 And Above
Don’t think that your dating life is over just because you’ve reached the age of 40 and beyond. At this age, you’re likely at the peak of your career and are not only wiser, but more experienced and mature as well. These traits can be your biggest assets, so don’t fret. Going on dates and finding your ideal partner isn’t impossible, even when you’re at a much older age now.
Be Confident In Your Attractiveness
A lot of women may find older men charming and attractive. As previously stated, you’re wiser and more experienced. You see the world in a different light and have a much better understanding of the world than any 20-something. This can be an advantage, as you have a maturity and wisdom that younger guys may lack. Keep in mind that confidence is attractive, so be confident in your own skin. This alone can be captivating enough to score you a date or two.
Dress To Impress
Show her that you can still dress to the nines even when you’re getting on with age. Similar to how your confidence shows how you carry yourself, the way you dress can also help you express your personality. It won’t hurt to clean up a bit and maybe schedule a trim at your local barbershop either. Plus, there are great hairstyles for older men to choose from, so this may be a good opportunity for you to update your look and switch things up for yourself.
This goes for any guy of any age, but it can be especially crucial for older men. Be transparent about what you want in a relationship, whether you only want a physical relationship or are looking for something that calls for more commitment. Showing you’re honest and that you know what you want can tell a woman just how mature you are. There’s no need to lie about what you’ve accomplished in life just to compensate for your older age, either. Honesty is a vital foundation in any relationship, so be truthful about yourself and your expectations for you and your partner.
Dating Advice For Men: Life After Divorce
Everyone knows that divorce is messy, so wanting to get back in the game again should come as no surprise to the people in your life. Your last relationship fell apart, so it’s natural for you to continue wanting a happy ending for yourself. Getting back into the dating game post-divorce can be difficult, but it’s not impossible so long as you keep a few important things in mind.
Give It Time
It’s important that you give yourself time to heal, regardless if you were married for 2 years or 18 years. You may want to be in a relationship as soon as the court settlements are done, but you’ll be doing yourself a favor by holding off on the dating for a while. Going on dates might be your mind’s way of coping with the loss of your failed marriage, but that should not be the driving force behind your need to see other people. You don’t want your next relationship to be based on the remnants of hurt from your divorce, so take it easy and don’t rush things.
Rebuild Your Confidence
Divorce can deal a massive blow to your self-esteem and how you perceive yourself in general. Your confidence will be at an all-time low post-divorce, so you’ll need some time to build yourself up before being ready to put yourself out into the world again. Work on yourself first before letting other people back in to ensure that you’ll be in a much better place — mentally and emotionally — by the time you’re ready for your next relationship.
Be Comfortable On Your Own
It can be hard to re-learn how to be on your own again, especially after a huge portion of your life was so tightly interwoven with someone else’s. Get used to being on your own first before getting back in the game again. Not only will you want to regain your confidence, you’ll also want to recover the independence that comes with being alone.
Bit by bit, you can do the things you missed out on while you were married. Restart an old hobby or hang out with friends. If you have kids, focus on caring for them. Revisit the things that made you who you were before you were married and divorced. Finding comfort by being on your own can help you piece yourself back together and be better prepared for the next time you choose to open your heart to another person.
Dating Advice For Men: Online Dating
Some guys might prefer the ease of social media to connect with other people. Online dating has become the new norm now, and as is the case with more “traditional” dating, there are certain rules that apply to online dating as well. Think of these online dating rules as guidelines at best, especially if you’re new to the whole online dating scene.
Learn How To Write A Dating Profile
Your dating profile will be the first thing prospective dates will see about yourself, so make sure you come up with something that shows off all your best assets. Learning how to write a dating profile can be intimidating for newcomers no matter what the age, but with a bit of trial and error, you’ll be able to polish your own dating profile in no time.
Don’t Forget Proper Dating Etiquette
Just because you’re online and not meeting face-to-face (for the time being at least), that doesn’t mean you can forego all proper dating etiquette when getting to know someone over the Internet. Treat your lady with respect, whether you’re communicating online or are finally meeting for the first time. You might be able to hide behind your computer screen or smartphone, but don’t use that as an excuse to act like a jerk to the people you meet online.
Get Used To Rejection
Online dating makes it much easier to reject advances from other people, so be sure that you’re ready to be turned down when you take the online route to dating. Accept rejection, be graceful about it, and simply move on. This goes not just for online dating, but in dating as a whole. You’re not always going to get the girl, so you need to come to terms with that before even considering going out on dates, be it online or off.
Dating Advice For Men: The Lowdown
Whether you’re a young and spry 20 or 30-year-old, or a wiser 40-year-old, dating can be a challenging — and sometimes even intimidating — venture. Nevertheless, dating is a way of finding meaningful companionship in a complicated world, so here’s hoping that with these tips, you’ll find your lifelong happiness in the arms of a great partner sooner rather than later.