So, you want to know how soon is too soon to move in? Moving in together is a major next step decision many couples take in their relationships. You know you already have this undeniably deep connection, and both of you are excited with the thought of not having to say your goodbyes at night and waking up each morning together. But when is the right time to move in together? Though a lot of couples are considering cohabiting, there are important things you need to talk about before taking this big leap in your relationship.
Finding Out How Soon Is Too Soon To Move In
Moving in together is more than just sharing a room space, enjoying daily cuddles, and being together all the time. Remember that you’re still two separate individuals with different backgrounds and personalities. Before making the big move, consider the red flags before moving in together. Deciding when is the best time to move in together is something both of you should talk and figure out. Here are very important things you should discuss with her before making the actual move.
Moving in together is a big step for both of you. You have to make sure you both are ready to plunge in with this decision. Is it too soon to move in together after three months? Some say that six months is enough time to make this decision. But then, it’s all about discussing how ready you both are. Do it because you are both convinced and made that firm decision to move in together so you won’t have any regrets later on. Make sure that you both know what you’re getting into. Not being sure if you’re ready can make or break your relationship.
Once you’ve moved in together, there’s no going back. That’s why it’s important to think about it over and over. Will both of you be able to commit to this decision for at least a couple of months? Emotions shouldn’t be the only thing that’s driving you to decide quickly to live together. Are you willing to stand with and for each other in difficult situations? Are you both willing to commit not just emotionally but factors like decision-making or planning what’s next in your relationship? Don’t rush things out of convenience or comfort like saving up on money for rent, or just because you love the feeling of getting all too cozy in your relationship.
3. Financial Responsibility
Some of the major things you need to discuss with your partner are your financial responsibilities and goals. Having conversations about this issue will save you from future relationship arguments. Some of the things you can figure out are the combined bills you need to pay like housing, utilities, and food expenses. Consider opening a joint account to help you work on a budget. Ideally, you shouldn’t be sharing your personal financial accounts too soon.
4. Anger Issues
Does your partner have anger management issues? You need to have a good idea of what kind of temper she/he has and whether you are able to manage this kind of behavior before you decide to live together. If having a short temper is a red flag for you when dating someone, then it’s something to seriously consider. Moving in with someone who has uncontrollable anger issues can be very stressful. Think hard and consider how you can deal with this emotional issue before settling to live together.
5. Response to Challenges
Living together involves deeper emotional investment. And there will be a lot of challenges that can either build or break your relationship. Before you live together, take note of how well you both handle adversity. When you easily give up on challenges and are not willing to make an effort or compromise to face them, how would you handle discouragement? When things are not as smooth as expected, do you respond by blaming each other or try to respond positively? Do you get easily overwhelmed when stressed or do you feel comfortable expressing what you feel about the situation? These are questions you can ask to know if you’re moving too fast.
Healthy communication results in healthy relationships. Communicating the pros and cons of moving in together is worth taking your time. With a romantic boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, is nine months too soon to move in together? Talking about a potential move can help both of you analyze how much you can agree or compromise on decisions or preferences. Being open to communicating allows you to feel safe with your partner, especially in times of conflict or challenges. If either one of you doesn’t want to communicate, it’s one of the signs you’re not ready to move in together.
7. Solving Problems
Setting expectations is vital in deciding how soon is too soon to move in. It would take both of you to come up with solutions to problems whether it’s a relational conflict or factors like taking responsibility to manage the house. You need to figure out how you can help each other when concerns arise. You also need to be willing to acknowledge problems together and not just sweep these things under the rug. If your partner tends to just ignore serious issues, then you might think twice about moving in together.
8. Personal Beliefs
Many couples avoid discussing personal beliefs when making a decision to live together. This is in fact one of the most important things you need to know about your significant other. Both of you need to be open about your personal and religious beliefs especially if your partner has strong traditional values that she doesn’t want to compromise. Being honest about your beliefs can give room for your respect for each other.
9. Future Plans
One major thing to consider and discuss with your partner when deciding to move in together is your future plans. A survey by Pew Research says though it is widely accepted, many couples do move in together with plans of getting married eventually. You should be open to talking about future plans if you’re looking forward to a serious relationship and not just finding a temporary housemate. Mention your career plans, or whether you want to have kids. Talk about why you are going to live together and what it means for both of you to set the right expectations.
10. Managing Conflicts
Learning how to manage and resolve conflict when you’re living together is a whole new ballgame than when you were first dating. In reality, you will have differences in your opinions. How you handle conflicts from small things to serious ones is important to consider. Throwing in the towel right away after having your first major argument is a sign that you’re moving fast. If you’re not willing to deal with things in a healthy way, then it might be too soon to move in.
11. Level of Trust
Having a level of trust in your relationship means you feel comfortable enough to share your life with your partner. It’s also important to know if you or your partner had trust issues before or currently have those issues in your relationship. You don’t want to get into situations where you keep doubting each other’s decisions or actions and end up making your relationship more stressful. Moving in is not a quick fix for past issues that you need to deal with first.
Health is one of the things you can assess to know how soon is too soon to move in. Health conditions and medical problems are things you need to be open about so you know the kind of help and care you would expect or need. Living together is a big step to take for many couples, especially if a partner is going through treatments or therapy. This can certainly affect your schedules, routines, finances, and even work, so you have to know if you’re willing to make that kind of adjustment.
13. Social Life
Chances are, your social life will be different from your partner’s. Maybe you like to spend your weekends at home to recharge your batteries, but your partner likes to spend them by inviting some friends or families over. If you decide to share space with your partner, it’s crucial not to miss out on discussing your social expectations. You need to set how things will go around the house. Setting some guidelines about holding parties or hangouts and even curfews is a good practice. You would also want to set some boundaries if you need days to spend time together. The bottom line is being clear about how comfortable you will be with the kind of social life your significant other has.
14. Room Space
Whether it’s you moving to her house or the other way around, or both of you moving into a rented space, you need to discuss your stuff, literally. Talking about the next step to move in includes planning how you’re going to physically arrange things in the house. This may seem trivial but a lot of people find it hard to let go of stuff they don’t even need anymore. Talk about how much space you two can share.
15. Cleanliness and Chores
Before moving in, you need to consider how your partner keeps her space. If you have your own separate daily schedules, you need to plan on how you can share the work for chores and cleaning. Talking about sharing housework is practical and important as you decide to live together. You should both feel comfortable about noting specific chores and how frequent they need to be done to save you time and effort, especially if you have hectic schedules, and avoid making this a point of frequent argument.
And talking about schedules, you need to discuss how you spend time for work, having time for personal space, and how you can allot time together. Most couples move in because they want to spend more time together, only to find out that their partner is all too busy with a lot of things on their schedule. Being unclear about this aspect can create friction in your relationship because you will have the tendency to demand time and bring unnecessary stress to your partner. It’s also ideal to talk about your schedule so you can help each other out when your hands are full.
Deciding on How Soon Is Too Soon to Move In Together
There is no clear or perfect timing on knowing how soon is too soon to move. It’s also a relationship reality that there are risks in making these kinds of important decisions. You and your partner have to assess your personal, financial, and even emotional readiness. If you think you or your partner suffers from abandonment issues, you might want to think again before finally deciding to live together. Both of you would need to make careful plans and honestly talk about things if you want to take the next step to move in together.